Bad/sad dreams

I had this bad dream last night or maybe more on the sad side. I dreamt about my ex and he wasn't really nice to me. I hate dreaming like this. First of I wake up crying and my heart beats so hard that I'm certain that it will beat through my chest. But when I finally relax again I end up having a bad conscience for thinking (dremaning) bad about him. I feel bad about it. Poor guy!

Who am I?

I just don't know anymore. I started thinking about this after my boyfriend dumped me. Who do I want to be, what do I want to be and where do I want to be it..? I like what I'm doing now but I can't help myself from thinking that there is something more for me out there... Somewhere. Is it wrong of me to want more?


I'm really tired of living here in Kristiansand. The only things that are keeping me here is my family, friends and at the moment my apprenticeship. I really want to try my luck at becoming an engineer again but I hated studying and living in Grimstad. I was depressed almost all the time when I lived there.. And i think the only other place where I can study the type of engineer that I want to be is in Trondheim or something and I don't want to move there either. My plan was to move to Bergen next year with my boyfriend and I was kinda starting to look forward to moving there. I really like Bergen so I think I would like living there at least for a while. But I feel it would have been a bit wierd to move there now because of everything that has happened.

Why is it so hard to figure this out alone?

-Heartbroken xoxo

Taking a break.

Hi guys!

So I have finally decided that I will take a breake from the gyrau style.
I still like the style but I just don't feel like putting so much effort in it anymore..
Maybe I will dress and do the gyaru makeup once in a while but right now I just don't feel like it.
Because of the things that have happened to me lately I feel like starting fresh and try new things.
Maybe my self-confidence will get a boost. Because it has never been as low as when I have followed the gyaru lifestyle.. (except from the period when I was bullied in my childhood).

Maby I wil blog about other things. But now I really need to have a break from it all!

Sincerely heartbroken.